April 07, 2002 ~ 10:18 p.m.
Feeling:
I've been wondering where all a few of the usual online friends I talk to have gone lately. Kai was cursed with what she calls 'groundation' and Tricia hasn't been around, to where, I've no clue. And I guess she's been a little ill lately. Poor things. Sometimes I don't get to talk to them that much...
When they were gone, I felt as if they've 'abandoned' me and there was barely anyone I would talk to. Not the usual people, anyway. My cousin who lives nearby hardly talks to me online; it's as if were are completely different people and she's concentrating on what she's doing. I do have the opportunity to go over to her house and stay for hours.
Maybe with the absence of the people I would like to talk to, was a kind of sign that told me I needed to have some time to myself. So what did I do? I did nothing. Well, to what seems like a 'boring' nothing. All I did Saturday was play Final Fantasy 8 (which I never finished because I gave up so long ago and took up again) and do a few things here and there, and today I just...went to church this morning and helped out the little kiddies.
Later in the afternoon my friend begged me to come to practice for a Youth Mass we're going to be doing in this month. Then in the evening we were back in session with our sunday classes. The confirmation class hasn't 'sucked' like we have before, we've done all our interviews with Sister Elizabeth and decided our community services.
Now I realized, after all the rush with the Holy Week during spring break has stopped. I almost didn't want to go to church this morning but I knew I just had to go and get an hour in of community service by helping out the little kids. I'm trying a little bit too hard to get back into the spirit of church activities. Sunday class tonight was a little boring...however, I never leave without thinking about the lesson and what the sister said and what my teacher talked about.
I did think I needed a little time to myself to not think too much about the people who I don't get to see often in person. I think I needed to spend a little time with my family, with my cousin most likely. I used to go to their house all the time and sleep over, on some weekdays, and weekends, when my mom would always work late to wait for my dad after he was done working.
I'm starting to just ramble on a bit...I've thought too hard about certain subjects. I once wanted to do an entry on innocence, but I figured I couldn't think of enough info because I was distracted by talking to someone else.
I have the feeling I'm going to be a bit 'quiet' this week. I'm going through the monthly thing and it's starting to take effect on me. I'm in that 'calm, quiet, just-fine' mood. Not being too happy, not being too sad. It's all in balance...
Can't take this crap anymore...
Torn
Staying Strong
Heavenly Music
A Filipino Drunkard's Party
Living life »»†«« in solitude...
