September 18, 2002 ~ 10:58 p.m.
Feeling:
It was just like any other day for me...but today, somebody really made me feel special. By the act of just one simple thing. And it made me happy.
During lunch recess today, I was hanging around the usual place with my friends after we left the cafeteria, standing there looking out at the other people. When suddenly I saw this boy I know come up to me and give me a flower. Just a plain little yellow flower that you could pick out of the grass. He presented it to me and said "Here Cecily, this is for you."
I was in complete shock. I didn't show it, though. I was so surprised, and I didn't know much what to say. I said thank you and I hugged him. It was...so nice...and sweet. Just the sweetest thing that could happen to a girl.
Then he left and went on his way. A few of my friends saw what happened and they were saying how sweet that was. They were even a little jealous because they said their boyfriends never did something like that for them. And here I was, the one who had no boyfriend.
I felt a little flushed, embarrassed, maybe. I didn't know what to think. They kept on saying how nice it was. Then I got to thinking why that boy/friend of mine did that. Well I don't know if he's one of my friends, but I do know him, and though we don't talk much to each other I guess I consider me and him as friends.
See it's a little strange because he was the former boyfriend of one of my good friends. I guess right now he's not dating anyone. I thought about all the nice things he's done for me before.
The fourth of July incident, the friendly greeting kiss on the cheek. The second time was a time when I went to the cafeteria to buy a canned juice. Lunch was just about over and the cafeteria was selling canned juice, so I went over quickly to buy one before they would be sold out. That boy friend (note: the words are seperate...don't think it's the same as 'boyfriend') of mine was ahead of me and he was going to buy a juice too. It ended up that there were only two left. He looked at me and then he bought both of them and let me have the other.
I couldn't believe it. That was SO extremely nice to him, even though I could have paid it myself, he had already given up the dollar for both of the last canned juice. Then he just went on his way. Funny how he'd do something nice for me and he goes away.
And I didn't know what to think, do, or say during my last class because I sit next to him during that time. Nothing really happened though. I just kept the flower on my desk. Even though it was wilting, I guess I still cherish it.
Walking home from school after the bus dropped us off, a friend of mine asked me if I liked this boy friend of mine. I told her I didn't know, I didn't know what I felt for him. Then my friend wondered if he liked me too. I didn't think so. He could have just done those nice things just for the heck of it. He does have the reputation for being an extremely nice guy.
Sweet, suave, and athletic, the boy had it all. I never really thought I had any feelings for him besides just as a friend, but I might be developing a new aspect of him. I really don't want to be getting involved in a relationship, as nice as it may seem. I never thought such things could happen to me in real life. I mean I guess I kind of had these things happen to me in chat life.
Those sweet things make me remember my feelings for a certain someone that I once loved in the chat. We seemed to fit like hand in glove, and as wonderful as the relationship was, it had to end sometime. We never really told each other if it was over, we just drifted apart, and I haven't contacted him since. He, too, also had all the qualities I liked in a boy. But now I don't know if he still has feelings for me. But I still believe he does. I really do hope to talk to him again. I'm so desperate to just talk to him again.
I'm one to just fall so easily into love, but right now I'm in a 'neutral' state, where I just don't want to have that kind of involvement and committment right now. It does let a girl have nice daydreams, though.
The kiss, the juice, the flower....what do these things represent? I don't know what that boy could be thinking, does he like me? Even the tiniest bit? Maybe...maybe not a 'love-crush' thing. We couldn't...I don't want to believe...that we'd be together.
But it's just....so nice to think about. So boys, if you ever want to capture a girl's heart, take an example of what that boy friend of mine did. Well...I don't know. He's just one of the sweetest guys I know. But I just really have the feeling that we're not meant to be.
I had felt so down lately, but thank God that this boy would just come along and show me such wonderful acts of kindess and appreciation. It's just the simple things that can make people happy.
It was just the sweetest thing...
~♥~♥~♥~
Can't take this crap anymore...
Torn
Staying Strong
Heavenly Music
A Filipino Drunkard's Party
Living life »»†«« in solitude...
