August 07, 2003 ~ 11:17 p.m.
Feeling:
Song of the Day: "Going Under" ~ Evanescence
They say you can't get far in life without hard work. For me, that's true. Ever since I've been labeled as 'lazy' and 'procrastinator' there are times when I need that kick in the pants to actually work hard for something. Today, I've gotten that far.
I've gotten my very first paycheck. Yay for me. I don't seem too enthusiastic about it. I am happy that I have some money, though. After one month of correcting math papers for more than 6 hours a week, I finally get the thing I've waited for ever since I decided to do my job: cash. Yeah, I guess I feel pretty good that I can finally have something in my pocket. My very own, hard-earned money. Hey, sitting around for three hours straight and leaning over a desk can be pretty tough on the back muscles.
In any case, I have what I've wanted. So yeah, I feel pretty proud of myself. Although...it's not enough. With my living conditions, the money I make in only a month is not enough for me alone. I know it seems a little selfish of me, but before I even got a job I always though of helping out my parents with the bills and such. For the most part, I wanted to pay for the things I could buy on my own. That was one of my steps to independence. But it's still pretty far to the other side, and I have to keep my balance before I fall into that raging river.
Now I only know a tiny piece of the struggle my parents are going through. Both my parents are cracking two jobs. My mom only works for a little more than minimum wage, and my dad has been doing a little job-hopping. Fortunately, his skills as a pro chef and waiter helps him get some good jobs with the hotels.
I admit, I always daydream about the all the things I could buy with money...if I had that much. The thought of buying something that you want, and then actually having it, are but simple pleasures. I can spend money like water. Sure, I can hold the pitcher, but there are just so many times where I just have to pour it out. I guess it's a trait I share with my mom. Shopping and buying things makes us feel good. I don't know, maybe for either social status or just to feel happy that we have what we want.
Though, with the happiness money could bring, there are also many pains and stresses that come with it. The main problem: the cost of living. Nobody can live a healthy life without money for support. Not in this century. I know I'm not as far as living on my own yet, but my mom gripes on about it all the time. It is common to hear such complaints about money and to 'pay the bills' and such. It's hard.
I know that a mere teenager can me can barely comprehend the value of money until I'm actually trying to live on my own. Then I'll truly know what hard work is all about. What the pain of living is these days. But the world needs balance and that's how we live our lives by it.
Really...as wonderful as thinking about buying all the things I want can be, I always hear my mom pour out the stress of handling the expenses of our home. I hate to hear her talk about it, but it is something I need to know.
Well...that's just the way the world turns. We people like to revolve around money. I just hope for the day where that will no longer need to be a worry in our lives...
Can't take this crap anymore...
Torn
Staying Strong
Heavenly Music
A Filipino Drunkard's Party
Living life »»†«« in solitude...
