August 20, 2003 ~ 11:59 a.m.
Feeling:
Song of the Day: "White Flag" ~ Dido
Well it's been over ten days since I last did an entry. It wasn't because I was extremely busy or anything, it's just the main fact that I get lazy, or that I don't find anything significant to write about. However, this entry will probably just be random stuff.
It seems like I don't really want to bother talking to anyone online anymore. I think it's because I'm at this point in my life where my life is going to make a big change soon. I have to get ready to graduate from high school. Well, I guess I'm glad that I've come this far, and I feel that I have matured a little more and have gained more experience and knowledge. I have to start being more independent as I always say I want to be, but slowly getting there.
I'm doing this entry because I suddenly felt like writing, and because some people have been wondering what's been happening.
"Again I find myself wondering.. why don't people update their journals more often. @_@" This stems from boredom as well as a desire to know what people are up to and whether or not they are dead."
I got that from Duo's journal. Hehe, sorry Duo, but yeah I think I've pretty much explained myself above. I guess some of us are spontaneous people; we like to do things our own way and whenever we feel like it.
Lack of entries here is also because I've made myself a blog now. I figure that my diary is only for long and serious entries; all the deep stuff that wouldn't belong in a blog, to whereas the latter would hold all the random dribble I go on about.
So moving on...I've been doing some check-ups on some friend's journals myself.
"I got a letter in the mail unexpectedly today from Cass. When I saw it.. I was like O.O".. There's no way the letter I sent got there already so what's this.. o.o". ^.^V Thankies for the cute card and necklace. I really didn't expect that at all. It was a nice surprise especially since mom was being extra b*tchy today. So thankies again! O.o.. With such great timing.. You planned it didn't you! ^^ Arigato!" ~Xling
Aww you're welcome much, Xling. I give thanks to Sara too because she helped me pick out you and Kai's birthday cards. I'm glad it came at the right time though; even if I sent it late. It's funny that regardless of how I'm such a lazy procrastinator and how I'm late on things; they always seem to come out...good. Maybe...because I had good intentions. So I'm glad I made your day, because it really made mine.
"Some people I know.. seem to also be feeling avoided.. or unloved right now... I don't get it though... I've been trying to write to people more.. and show them that someone cares but .. bah they ignore me completely at every attempt (Maybe I'm not obvious enough?). -.-".. I gotta admit that's been making me feel a bit unwanted myself. I mean... if I'm really bugging them that much.. or they just.. ><".. plain don't want to hear from me right now.. I wish they'd just say so. They never tell me what's bothering them... which is fine.. but I dunno.. you shouldn't push people away who are trying to be there for you.. or at least tell them.. tell them that you just plain ... ><".. don't need them -_-". Bah..I don't have to know everything to just be there -_-... "
I didn't really get to read this but erm uh...I'm sorry if you didn't want me to post this but...I think maybe between all of us, ( you know who ) I think we're all sort of feeling that way. Maybe. I know I have. Um...I'm uncertain if this was directed to me in a way, but I felt like it was. Not that I found it offending or anything.
But truly...I really have been 'avoiding' people. For...some reasons said and unknown. I've been feeling a little torn, fragile, and soft-hearted lately. I can't really say, or understand myself....why.
Moving on to slightly bigger things...Sara's mom is going to have surgery this Friday so we're going to spend the night with her in the hospital. My mom might have surgery too in October. Well...I hope for the best. Sorry to anyone who might not have wanted some of this personal stuff to get out. But this was just in case anyone was wondering...
......please don't pity me.
Can't take this crap anymore...
Torn
Staying Strong
Heavenly Music
A Filipino Drunkard's Party
Living life »»†«« in solitude...
