August 22, 2002 ~ 10:30 p.m.
Feeling:
Ha. You know sometimes I thought I'd die that way. But the outcome of this internet quiz is bleak and depressing anyway so why'd I bother to post it? Becuase I guess I was curious...
Over my vacation...on..Saturday night, my chest hurt so bad, it was hard to breathe and not sob and have tears start pouring out of me. I wanted to break down and cry. I was walking ahead of my parents and my aunt and uncle while in Vegas in the California hotel, afraid that I would get caught by security. So I sat in the lobby but then noticed that someone had collapsed in the casino. Medics were already there. Then my parents and company came. I went ahead to the elevator.
After we said goodbye to my aunt and uncle we went up to the hotel room to sleep. I wanted to cry...so after I crawled into the empty bed next to my parents I tried to wrench that painful feeling inside of me. I had to cry, and I know that whatever it was, I had to get it out. I had to get up a few times and sneak to the bathroom and get some tissues.
I cried along the lines of that my parents didn't care about what I do...because I don't tell them, that I don't show them what I can do and they don't appreciate or notice what I do anymore. And I'd that I'd die at an early age and have a sad, unfulfilling life. I thought about my sorrow too much. And I know it's really not that healthy for me. I guess I even cried, thinking about that poor old man that collapsed right there in the casino.
I don't know...I just know something was painfully tearing inside of me and I had to let it out. But at that time I just wished someone would hold me and tell me everything would be all right. I'm afraid to cry to my parents now...
Well, enough of this dark entry..I need to go on and explain my trip in Las Vegas! I mean..it wasn't all that bad...
Can't take this crap anymore...
Torn
Staying Strong
Heavenly Music
A Filipino Drunkard's Party
Living life »»†«« in solitude...
