February 11, 2003 ~ 11:41 p.m.
Feeling:
Song of the day: "I Drove All Night" ~ Celine Dion
"What do you ask of God's church?"
"Faith."
"And what does Faith have to offer you?"
"Eternal life."
~ Beginning Rite of the Cathecumen
I've had those words in my head ever since Sunday. Being the later writer that I am, what I feel like writing about one day doesn't compell me to turn it into an entry directly as soon as I get home.
Sunday was the...I guess something like an 'inaguration' of some Catholic trainees becoming instructor Cathecists. I wish them much grace. However, those words quoted above struck me somehow. I can fully believe in them. I don't know how it affected me so suddenly, but it did. Even if both the priest and celebrants were probably reading those words off a paper.
In all my years of living my religion has never affected me so heavily up until now. Looking back on last year I realize that I've felt like a low life, a nobody, and I've been so put down and depressed often. I haven't caught myself crying over nothing yet. I feel that now...I'm over everything that's happened. To me it's all just a phase I went through. I don't really feel...too sad now. Besides my sympathy after Christina's death, I don't really feel like I should be sad about anything anymore. I'm looking more toward the future.
I still fear the future, I still get those odd feelings that I'm suddenly 'not quite myself' but I don't feel like the whole world is going to come crashing down around me. Of course, I do have my daily stresses and problems in life to deal with. Parents arguing, family health, politics and potential war, 'tragedies' and such...all rushing in to devour millions of people's sanities.
I want to believe. I want to take my faith further. I'm learning more and more every day, moreso about the ways of being Catholic, and the 'duties' that we need to have.
I took an eight hour course on social justice one weekend in January. Four hours on Friday night, another four on Saturday morning. The speaker was very enthusiastic and enlightening. She had been doing this for a while now, and she's very good at it.
I've learned that as a Catholic, getting involved in social ministry is NOT something we CAN or CANNOT choose to do. We MUST do it. It's not some kind of chore, or something forced into us, but a ministry, a quality that Catholics must uphold.
CHARITY and JUSTICE are not the same. Charity is an immediate response to an injustice; justice is getting involved with the situation, going out and taking action to prevent the initial cause. Of course we know that social ministry is a VERY hard thing to do. Many people don't want to hear of it. The news...we hear so many terrible things on the news lately: deaths, killings, tragedies, natural disasters, chaos...all so overwhelming we don't want anything to do with them. We just turn off our tv and try go on with life.
Sure it's a good way to try and 'avoid' such things, but we cannot always run from what is already happening. People need to take action. ( Right...as if I even do that myself ) But we need to understand that these things happen and SOMEONE if not anyone then OURSELVES must do them. Now who the heck am I relaying this message to out there?? I don't know..maybe I just want to get this through to just ONE person who may understand. One who may care enough to know what I'm talking about and actually go out and do something.
I know I have a bad memory and I don't like to do much work, but like any human with a functioning brain I constantly want to learn something new. So I learned two new words: Ecclesiology and encyclical. I don't remember what ecclesiology means but I do know what an encyclical is. Even some of the older people during that workshop may not even remember that word anymore ( I was the ONLY teen there, I swear it ) but an encyclical is an article written only by the Pope, done almost..I guess every year, concerning issues of social injustices in our world today. I have a packet of them and read through a bunch of them. They've really opened my sight to the world to a different view.
I can't keep blabbing on like this though. There are several things I'd like to say about social justice. There are seven principles to them and how importantly they apply to such issues.
I've pretty much drained out all the information in my head.
Going back to the topic of faith...keep believing. Don't let depression get the best of you, and handle your stress ( mmhm..I've learned about that ) and have something to believe in. Otherwise, life will be like a rotting hell forever.
Never lose faith.
Can't take this crap anymore...
Torn
Staying Strong
Heavenly Music
A Filipino Drunkard's Party
Living life »»†«« in solitude...
